In today’s world, individualism often takes centre stage. From secular wellness philosophies to self-help books, there’s a growing emphasis on the self—on pursuing personal goals and looking inward for fulfilment. Yet, as Christians, we’re called to live in community, loving God and others as ourselves. So, how do we reconcile these perspectives?
Understanding individualism requires us to look deeper, beyond surface behaviours.
My research into mental health has revealed that individualism is often less a conscious choice and more a response to life experiences. People who exhibit strong individualistic tendencies may not do so out of selfishness but because their self-worth has been eroded by challenges such as rejection, marginalisation, or trauma. These experiences can lead to protective barriers, isolating them from others and driving them inward.
The Bible offers wisdom on this. In Nehemiah 1:1-11, Nehemiah models a God-centred response to brokenness. When he hears about Jerusalem’s destruction, his first action isn’t to blame or judge—it’s to pray, fast, and seek God’s guidance. Nehemiah’s response reminds us that understanding and compassion are key to restoring others and ourselves.
Interestingly, science supports this Biblical principle. Research in psychology consistently shows that a lack of self-worth is linked to defensive behaviours, including excessive focus on the self. These behaviours are often coping mechanisms, not deliberate choices. When we approach such individuals with judgment or condemnation, we risk reinforcing their barriers rather than helping them overcome them.
To guide someone out of individualism, we first need to help them build a foundation of self-compassion.
This doesn’t mean encouraging self-centeredness but helping them recognise their inherent value as a person made in God’s image. The Bible underscores this: “We love because he first loved us” (1 John 4:19). When people understand their worth in God’s eyes, they are better equipped to extend love and compassion to others.
From a practical perspective, helping someone develop self-compassion often involves addressing their underlying pain and rebuilding their sense of self-worth. Jesus modelled this in His ministry. He didn’t merely correct outward behaviours; He sought to heal hearts. Whether it was the woman at the well or Zacchaeus the tax collector, Jesus first met people where they were, offering them love and acceptance. This approach allowed them to embrace transformation and, in turn, positively impact their communities.
As Christians, we’re called to follow His example.
When we encounter individualism, rather than rushing to label it as selfishness or a flaw, we should instead seek to understand the life experiences that led to it. By doing so, we can show compassion, help heal wounds, and guide people toward a life of connection with God and others.
Both science and faith affirm that we are created for relationships. But those relationships must stem from a place of wholeness. Only when people are equipped with a healthy sense of self-worth can they truly love others as God intended.
By striving to embody Christ’s restorative heart, we recognise that compassion and understanding, not condemnation, lead to lasting transformation.
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